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***QUESTION***

ok here is the deal... i'm 23, 5'7" and a relatively good looking and successful fashion designer. i don't date to much, and because of my usually respectful mannerism i don't get laid toO often and usually end up in that "gay friend" category.

but i've kinda got my eye on a cutie who works at a trendy clothing store in my hood. it initially was one of those things where we shared a glace and did the whole "eye ball sex" thing the first time i came into the shop. i frequent this store regularly to help promote and do some p.r. for a club night my friends are doing, (not to mention check out the... uh... merchandise?) so i have actually spoke to her and got her name and even convinced her to come out to the club a few times (on my guest list of course).

the thing is i'm not very comfortable about "macking" girls in clubs and try to avoid it at all costs, so my question is how do i go from cheezy promoter guy dropping off flyers and free passes, to say... getting her to come watch "videos" at my place or even just a phone # for that matter?

giving me a way to find out if she is single would be cool too...

>MY COMMENTS:

I've included your letter for a couple of reasons. One is because I want other guys to see that just because you're a young, successful guy that just happens to work in two fields that should naturally lead to you be a BABE MAGNET, it always takes more than just a situation... it takes skills and knowledge as well. And, second, I want to answer your question because I believe that there are a lot of guys out there who come into contact with a lot of women and would like to know how to capitalize on their good fortune.

Here's what to do:
The easiest thing in the world to do in your current situation is to say "Hey, do you have email?" Most people do, and if she says yes, just pull out a piece of paper and have her write it down. Then, WHILE SHE'S WRITING, say "And write your number down there too." This is one of my favorite one-two combinations.

Then, the next day, send her an email and tell her that she should get together with you for a cup of tea and some stimulating conversation. This is both easy and charming, and it works like, well... a charm. And for heaven's sake man, start getting the email and digits from the probably MILLIONS OF BABES that you meet in the fashion industry and while promoting clubs. Heck, if you don't want them, send them to me.

***SUCCESS STORY***

I'm sure you'll find this interesting Dave. There's a girl I liked a while back. Her and I dated for a few weeks, and then she started backing out. Less communication, avoiding the "alone time" etc. Well, that confused the hell out of me because I didn't see it coming, nor did I know what was going on in her head. I did get frustrated, but I dealt with it, and moved on. But before I moved on, I told her very friendly, "I know you don't want to continue dating, but you know that we're still friends... " So we had a nice talk and stuck to friendship. Still wondering why it broke off between us, I came across your book. After I read it, I became "enlightened" as to what happened. Let's just say I read about the "needy" guy, and cringed. I came on too strong to her. It's like putting on a lot of cologne... no matter how good the smell is, too much stinks. Well, after being "enlightened," I decided to try a few of your concepts on her. I will honestly tell you that she's all over me now. (all over). Anyways, I'm known for never finishing books, but yours I've read about 3 times now. Waiting for a new publication...

>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, yes. Isn't it wonderful when you realize how the psychology works?

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave!

I enjoy reading your writing. I dated a lot and fooled around quite a few, but I have fallen for this girl, and I made a mistake by telling her, not once but twice, how much I feel for and want her before she revealed her feeling toward me. Consequently she told me later on that she would like to do casual dating with me. And recently I found out that she is seeing two or three other guys simultaneously. GUYS OUT THERE, REMEMBER THIS. NEVER REPEAT MY MISTAKE!!!!

Having recognized my error and conceded defeat, I want to cut my loss by telling her this weekend in a face to face meeting that I don't want to see her any longer. But I can't forget her and keep wondering if I should make one more effort to win her back. I guess I am a regular human being, suffering from loss of her love. Should I change my mind, what techniques can I use to win her back?

Or I should simply walk away from her and forget everything about her? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
B.

>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I'm glad that you've realized your mistake... Too often, us men find a particularly interesting woman, and then come to the logical conclusion that we should probably share how we're feeling about her... with her.

Unfortunately, while we think we're saying "I really like you and think you're a special girl", what she's actually hearing is "I am a wuss, I feel like you're too good for me, I'll do whatever you want, I'm no longer a challenge, and you can predict how I'm going to act from now until you decide that you're tired of me..."

I know, sounds harsh. But this is too often the reality of the situation. As far as your situation goes, I would get on with my life, don't call her anymore, and if she decides to call you sometime, turn the tables around, start playing hard to get, and NEVER ACT LIKE A WUSS AGAIN PLEASE.

It's a hard job I have poking fun at the pain of others... all for their own good.

***INTERESTING EMAIL FROM A WOMAN***

This is a success story. Your success, not mine. And I need your help. I really doubt that anybody else can help me. This is the story. I am a woman. I am absolutely agreed with every word you say about dating, phone number and email, cocky/funny attitude, phone calls, and kiss. Everything you say is right. Beside this talent you have very unique quality: you can see the persons problem from few sentences. Now I need you to tell me what is my problem. I am immigrant from Russia living in Canada. I am at my latest 20 and I’m quite attractive and I want to have a boyfriend. I am not the person who settles for less. . I have no problem to get a date. I have a problem to get the second one with the guy I like. I know all mind games including “I’m so Hard To Get and Busy” and “Oh I’m so helpless”. To meet a guy is not a problem, but, very few of my dates are cocky – funny guys. And that is what I like. Now tell me: what do you cocky-funny guys look for? What makes you call back second, third and twenty-third time. I am not asking for an answer like: wash your hair, offer to split the bill and be adventurous, I know all this from Cosmo. There is something bigger then this, something that North American girls learn at their very yang age and it is so simple so nobody talks about it. Tell me what is it that attracts cocky-funny guys. I really need to know. Thanks.
L.

>MY COMMENTS:

I'm glad you wrote in, because you bring up a point that most men never realize: Namely, that it's not easy for most women to find the kind of man that they feel ATTRACTED to! Yes, there are a lot of good-looking men in this world, but women are looking for a lot more than just looks. Women are looking for that magical combination of confidence, humor, an understanding of how women work, class, etc.

One of the great benefits of mastering the ideas that I teach is that you can fill a need that is very real in the world: The need for real,
attractive men. As for your particular situation, my only idea is to stop by my place sometime for a personal consultation. I specialize in beautiful, young Russian women who are looking for cocky funny guys. There is no charge for your initial consultation...

I think a lot of guys have had times in their lives when they were successful with women... but for whatever reason they have lost their old "mojo". Maybe it was a marriage that went bad... maybe a girlfriend that eventually turned them into a Wuss Bag... whatever.

I get a lot of emails from guys who USED to be good with women, but have been out of practice for so long that they might as well be starting over.

If you fit this category, or you're just getting started and you want to get off on the right foot, then I recommend you check out my eBook "Double Your Dating".
No kidding, this stuff has taken me several years to learn, test, refine, and explain clearly. If you want the best material available for meeting and dating women, this is it.

My downloadable online eBook comes with three free bonus booklets, and it's the foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters. Start here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com