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***QUESTION***

How do you tell if a girl has a boyfriend before even talking to her? i mean is it something in their body language or are they looking around a whole lot? i have walked up to girls that i was thinking didn't have a boyfriend, but they did. how can you tell if she has one before making a total ass of yourself?
W.

David D. >>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a very interesting question to me. It's interesting for two reasons...

One, because it's a logical question to ask. Duh, it only makes sense to want to know if she has a boyfriend, right?

Two, because I think that this simple little question prevents men from talking to women probably MILLIONS of times per day.

Let's talk about these issues. The reality is that most guys aren't looking for women who have boyfriends. We'd rather approach single women than "taken" women. Further, most of us aren't interested in dealing with potential drama... in other words, if she has a boyfriend, we'd like to know so we can avoid drama with him.

Now, I personally believe that the combination of these two things creates a sort of crazy thought pattern in many men. It goes like this:
"If I talk to a woman who has a boyfriend or a husband, I'm going to embarrass myself and put myself in physical danger."

It all happens so fast. See woman > Think she's cute > Wonder if she has a boyfriend or husband > Decide it's not worth it to find out > End of story.

I've been there many, many times. You know what I've realized? Trying to figure out if a woman has a boyfriend before you talk to her is a waste of your time. I'm not very good at guessing whether or not a woman has a boyfriend, and I've been studying this stuff closely for YEARS. If you approach a woman who isn't single, she'll usually let you know pretty quickly. But there's a bonus... you'll usually make her day!

Women love attention from men. It's reality. And out of all of the hundreds and hundreds of women that I've approached, I've never been harassed, threatened, or beaten up by a jealous boyfriend. I'm sure it's happened at some point in history, but I've never heard of it happening to anyone that I know... and I know a lot of guys that talk to a LOT of women.

It sounds to me like you need to start paying attention to those little mental games you're playing with yourself that are STOPPING you.

Get past them.

You don't make a total ass of yourself when you talk to a woman who isn't single. In fact, just about everyone will respect you MORE for having the guts to do it. Start thinking about something more useful!

***QUESTION***

I just want to say your advice is great. Where do u get this stuff from, really?? I work in a gym and am a bodybuilder but until I got your emails I had virtually no success with women. My sexy body oh yeah, was enough to get them excited but my lack of confidence aka wussitis would turn them of so quick it was like I had turned into a frog or something. Attitude makes the difference.

Now I'm busting on every hot girl I see, telling them they're probably stalkers and they are all over me. There are global changes that people can make where one thing changes and a lot of other good things come from it, this was one for me. I've asked a lot of hot women and they say your material is dead on. They also say a lot of the cocky part of the equation comes from posture, how you handle yourself, eye contact, how comfortable you are in your own skin.

My question is sometimes when I bust on a women she'll get pissed and say something like "F U" Is this hers testing me and if so should i respond in a cocky and funny way?, or am I putting too much cocky and too little funny?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

lol... yea, you might want to turn up the humor a little bit. Just a guess...

I know several guys who say that if a woman gets "pissed" at you early on, or you get into an argument, that it INCREASES your chances of getting together with her FAST. Interestingly enough, I've actually seen that happen to ME a couple of times as well...

But if you're getting those kinds of responses from women on a regular basis, I'd say you might want to turn up the humor. It's obvious that the women you're talking to don't KNOW that you're kidding around with them.

To answer your question about where I get this stuff from...

I used to have no clue about women. I would see a woman walking down the street or in a bar and have NO IDEA what to do or say to start a conversation with her... and at one point I just decided that I'd had enough. So I decided to learn about how this whole "Women and Dating" thing worked.

Well, at first I stumbled around like a jackass, trying all kinds of things that didn't work... reading every book I could get my hands on, going to seminars, listening to tapes... etc.

But the thing that really did it for me was getting to know guys who were "naturally" good with women, and then paying very close attention to what they actually DID with women... not what they SAID they did, but what they ACTUALLY did. They I went and TESTED what I was learning, and I came up with my concepts and techniques. In other words, I really learned this stuff the hard way. I'm glad it's helping you...

***COMMENT***

The story by J is so obviously a total fabrication. I see better stories that are just as fake on afternoon soaps. Lets get real here. No one who believes the story by J must not have any living brain cells. Maybe that is how some women in bars act but in real life that hardly ever happens.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I hate to break the news to you, but NONE of the things that I print in these newsletters are "fabrications". Every one of these letters is REAL. All of them. I don't even edit them very much... I just do things like changing names to initials to maintain the privacy of contributors.

These letters are the real deal... and if you think that story was hard to believe, then you need to hang out with some of my friends when they go out. I've seen things with my own two eyes that make every story I've ever printed seem mild. Come to my next seminar... and meet some of my guests... and listen to them tell their stories first-hand. The real world is stranger than fiction, man.

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

I'm attracted to an escort girl in my city. I haven't seen or spoken with her yet and she doesn't known me either. I have her phone number. What's the best strategy to make this girl attracted to me ? (make a date without sex maybe...?)
Best Regards,
T

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, OK, let me get this straight. You could have asked me anything you wanted, and you want me to tell you how to make an escort girl that you've never met feel attracted to you? Hm. I'd have to say MONEY.

Money will probably do the trick for you. And you know, your idea is pretty slick, too. Combine the two. Give her money, but don't expect sex. She'll probably go out with you as often as you want...

I know, I'm a genius. And you're welcome.

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hello David:

I am a female 37 y/o Puerto Rican. I ran across your e-book by accident and let me tell you, it has upset me so much that I subscribed to receive your crappy e-mails.

You know David, I am one of the few good ones left. I have a great body, a nice face, a great upscale reputation, I am an excellent Latin dancer in fact professional, I teach dancing, choreography and host some nights at local nightclubs, I am an excellent cook, house keeper and I always do my best to look good-hot and sexy. I am very sexual or should I say extremely sexual. I communicate very well with others and have a great sense of humor. Well...yes, so far everything is about me, why? Because of this crap that you write, the man that I love and loves me back has left every window in his life open, you know, for the opportunity to meet more women. We have been together for 9 months and have been living together for the past 5 months or so and he still is searching for crap that he has no business searching for. He's got everything any man can dream of with me. Trust me he's got dozens of men waiting for him to step away so they can step in...

So maybe some day you want to advice these men that if they find a good one with superb qualities that they should take some time to know them better.
Regards,
M A.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I'm not going to comment on your judgment about the guy you're with. But I'd like you to notice one little detail that maybe you've missed. YOU LIVE WITH THIS GUY. You MOVED IN with him. And you're STILL WITH HIM.

I hate to say this, but it's obvious that his behavior towards other women is only making you TRY HARDER to get his approval. I'm treading on some controversial ground here, but think about it... I think you're missing the key insight here.

I was at the mall today buying something at a bath and body store. As usual, I was teasing and flirting with the girl that was helping me. In walks my ex girlfriend (about 6'2" with her heals on, the most beautiful woman you've ever seen)... and walks over to say hi to me. After she leaves, the girl that was helping me would NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. It was almost freaky.

She kept hinting that I should come back to the store more often, started asking me all kinds of personal questions, and just would not stop... At the end, as she was putting my purchases in a bag and handing them to me she was literally SHAKING with nervousness.

A man who can obviously attract other women is FAR more attractive than a man who obviously CAN'T attract other women. Again, I'm not going to comment on your boyfriend's particular behavior, but I think you are missing a BIG piece of the puzzle.

***QUESTION***

Dave,

I would like your help man, you're only my hope. this is my story. a year ago I met an incredible woman real beautiful I may say that she's 9.9 type. I met her at college and I started to talk to her we were friends for a couple months. she had a boyfriend that time after like five months she found out that her man is cheating on her, then they broke up. I was there for her in that sad situation of hers, then after a while I tried to be her boyfriend, she says no because she decided to be without a man for like a year something. I really beg and beg... I did everything for her, I volunteered to do so many things to her and I took her out to nice and very expensive places. in that time I use to call her once or twice a day. then sometime to time I continue to ask her to be her boyfriend. then she started to tell me that she doesn't love me anymore. she like me as big brother or something.........after a while we were talking, then the conversation heat up, then we talked about how we missed sex. she got real hot me too, but because we were at college library we had an appointment to meet the following day and have sex. I made a reservation in a nice resort, I got a suite. the day we supposed to meet she called me and told me that she changed her mind because, she was thinking and we're friends, so she can't take the clothes in front of me I begged she refused, I was real upset. I hang up the phone on her. after like two weeks not talking to each other I e-mailed her begging and telling her that I was upset because she wanted to have sex so much, maybe she want to see other man to have sex with, which is probably true. she forgive me but we haven't talk about sex since that time. then I discovered your e-book purchase it and read it all. now I don't call her every day, I call like twice a month. but it going no where.

Since she's so beautiful and men hit on her everyday, everywhere, work, school even on the street... I think I'm gonna lose her. I invested too much time, money everything on her and I real love her I don't want to lose her what can I do to get her back. please help me you're only hope I have, I tried everything, it doesn't work. I want to have her as my girlfriend or maybe I can hit that a$$, you know what I mean. but I'm a very slow learner and I have a big difficult to women, so be very very specific and give more example of what I can do in details way. Of course if you have the time to do all this.
thank you
H

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Duuuuuuuuuude...

You definitely get the Wuss Of The Week award. Just listen to yourself, man! After telling what may be the most touching story of an adult male human handing his testicles to a woman, you end with "I want to have her as my girlfriend or maybe I can hit that a$$...".

Powerful stuff.

I wish I had the time to tell you all the things I think about your situation, but that would probably take me about a YEAR to write out, so I'll just hit the high points here.

First of all, walk away from this one. You have hammered every nail into this particular coffin... and it's not worth it anymore.
You acted like a SUPREME WUSSY with this girl.
You screwed it up OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
Just buck up, and take it like a man.
Next, NEVER beg a woman for ANYTHING again. This is the kind of thing that makes women RUN away as fast as they can. I can't even believe that this girl was into you at all in the first place.

And your logic of "I have too much invested to let this one go" is Bass Ackwards, dude. What the hell are you talking about!? lol... you have too much invested to let it go?

Something tells me that you're not such a good investor, either. Look, there's an old proverb that says "No matter how far down the wrong road you've gone, TURN BACK". Turn back, man. Turn back. Get on with your life, learn from your experience, and get over it. And for the sake of all men, stop BEGGING!

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

OK, big guy...how about the flip side (so to speak)...how about coming to our rescrew, I mean rescue and putting out a column on What Men Want In A Women? I am having a gas reading your column every day, in fact in kind of gets me hot just thinking about it, go figure.

I was married, emphasis on WAS married to a wimp ass who couldn't make a decision to save his life. I finally just had to ask him, no TELL HIM to leave. Best decision I ever made. Trust me, as much as you may read that a woman wants someone to help with the housework (boring) be your friend (I've got girlfriends) etc, etc....I had it and I was b.f.n. within a very short period of time.

Marty Stewart (get it, Martha Stewart, Marty Stewart) is about as attractive to a woman as a, well never mind. I think there may have been some other ISSUES going on, but we wont go there... and question one's well, you get my drift. So now I am having a total gas meeting REAL men. Can hardly sleep at night, or focus on my work during the day! Keep UP the good work!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, other than the fact that you use the word "gas" a little more often than I'd like, I really enjoyed your letter. Men that follow instead of lead, don't make any decisions, and kiss up to women are NOT attractive. That's the reality. Thanks for the reminder.

My relationships work better, because I'm not acting AFRAID... afraid that she's going to leave, afraid I won't be able to find someone else... etc. And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly worry anymore, not knowing if I'll ever meet another woman.

I personally think that taking the time to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself and your life, period.

It might be THE best investment.

And if you haven't taken the time to download my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes. Go and get it here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com