This Article:
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Mental communication
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Doing things differently
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Triggering attraction
This article is one in a series and an introduction to the Double Your Dating ebook. It's just a
small part of the great information you'll find in the
Double Your Dating eBook.
Join the free weekly
Double Your Dating newsletter, full of questions and answers as well as great dating tips
here.
Question from a newsletter subscriber:
Just wanted to share a little bit of what your lessons have done for me. I
read your book and started concentrating on what I thought was my weak
points. I did as your book recommended and started picturing myself as the
cocky funny person I wanted to be. I even did the whole daydream practice
thing everyday. I work at a fitness center so I see lots of hot women all
the time. My biggest weakness is that I look away quickly after eye contact
is made. I decided that before I started trying to approach women I would
make it my goal for a couple of weeks to just make eye contact and hold it
until they looked away. Ok, here is the good part. After practicing eye
contact for a couple of weeks and doing the whole mental exercise thing, I
was at work one day working out after my break and was practicing my eye
contact thing between sets with this really hot girl near the dumbbell rack.
I knew she noticed but it never bothered me cause I had no intentions of
acting. Well, I had to go over to get a set of dumbbells for my next
exercise and as I got close to where she was she suddenly turned around and
said "I have a boyfriend" and turned around. Normally I would have kinda
stood there in shock and said nothing but, I guess all that mental practice
paid off. With out even thinking or pausing the words just came out. I said
"Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause - and in a lower tone) I know
this is probably a major accomplishment for you but to the rest a the world
this is kinda normal so you might not want to go telling every stranger you
see." Then I just walked off with my weights to do my sets. 5 min later she
comes over to me and apologizes and asks for my number. Turns out she didn't
have a boyfriend but was just tired of being picked up by losers while she
was trying to do a workout. Thanks for the pleasant surprise!
KAL
David D. :
Niiiiice one.
Your letter is really a wonderful affirmation and summary of some of my
favorite concepts:
1) Read my book "Double Your Dating"
2) Actually use the material and mentally rehearse
3) Start from where you're at
4) Be Cocky and Funny
5) Show complete indifference
6) Use illogical Jedi-Level mind power to create ATTRACTION
First of all, your story would make no sense at all to most guys. They would
say "Yea, whatever. She was probably abused as a child and wants you to be
her daddy" or "Well, if I worked at a gym I could do that too".
Of course, you realize that this had nothing to do with either... this was a
result of you learning about how women work, then preparing, then taking
action. I couldn't be more impressed.
Now let's talk about some of the things that were happening that most people
would MISS when reading the story. You mentioned your exercise of keeping
eye contact until women look away. This is very powerful. I am guilty of not
addressing this issue more often, and I'm glad you mentioned it here.
If you can learn this skill, it will communicate powerfully for you. Great
job.
You said "I guess all that mental practice paid off. With out even thinking
or pausing the words just came out."
This is the result of preparation and mental rehearsal. This wasn't "luck".
Even though the words were unique to the situation, the MESSAGE was
delivered clearly. By learning how to better communicate in the language
that women understand, you created magic.
And as for the words themselves...
You just gotta love saying: "Hey that's great I am happy for you. (Pause -
and in a lower tone) I know this is probably a major accomplishment for you
but to the rest a the world this is kinda normal so you might not want to go
telling every stranger you see" to a hot woman at the gym!
You INSTANTLY took a situation that would normally strip a man of all his
composure and personal power, and then REFRAMED her words in a way that
caused HER to look like the socially inept one.
Then you did something equally powerful:
YOU WALKED AWAY.
In effect, you busted on her, then PROVED BEYOND THE SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT
YOU COULD TAKE HER OR LEAVE HER. Actions really do speak louder than
words... most guys would have messed up that situation by standing around
waiting for her to say something. You did the right thing by walking away.
When you combine all of these factors together, you get a totally illogical
outcome: ATTRACTION.
She realized that you weren't just some other loser who hoped to maybe get a
date by kissing up to her... you turned out to be on of the EXCEPTIONAL men
in the world who have more personal power than her, and one of the even MORE
exceptional men who also know how to create ATTRACTION.
This combination made her feel a feeling that you can't create by DECIDING
that you want it. It can only be created by TRIGGERING IT.
Finally, I'd like to comment on the fact that SHE asked YOU for YOUR number.
You realize that it's not typical for a woman to approach a man, apologize,
then ask for his number.
Women will often ask a man for his number just to get rid of him. But not in
a situation like this one. This was different. She apologized, then told you
that she's tired of being picked up by losers... then asked for your number.
This was, in effect, her telling you that she sees you DIFFERENTLY.
All because of your eye contact, followed by a perfect execution of the
Cocky and Funny attitude, followed by an excellent physical demonstration of
indifference.
Again, to most men this would make no sense at all. If you consulted most
relationship books, they would argue that this type of approach would NEVER
work. I mean, men are supposed to "court" women, compliment them... pursue
them with gifts and favors, right?
Yea, right.
The problem is that the mainstream relationship books forgot to title the
chapter that suggests this kind of behavior "HOW TO BE THE WUSS WOMEN RUN
FROM" or "HOW TO CONVINCE THE WOMAN YOU DESIRE THAT YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE AND
WOULD PAY ANY PRICE FOR HER ATTENTION" or "SIMPLE TECHNIQUES FOR GIVING A
WOMAN YOUR REPRODUCTIVE EQUIPMENT ON A PLATTER".
The question I have for you is...
CAN YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT WHY MEN AND WOMEN
"SHOULD" BE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH TO SEE WHY THEY ACTUALLY ARE
ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER?
And can you do what it takes to get yourself from where you are to where you
actually need to be in order to attract the kinds of women that you would
like to meet and date? It can be done, but you're going to have to do it.
Did this article shine some light
on your present dating success and how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did,
because I've been there. As a result of my sharing what I know to
guys like you, (I receive emails from guys every day that have
dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you need to take
two more steps to start your own successful dating lifestyle.
First:
click here and join my
free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer the most interesting
and original of the advice questions I get daily from guys that want to date more successfully.
Second:
Download my ebook "Double
Your Dating". You'll find inside the
ebook more of the successful techniques, tried and true, that help
any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere
else.
Get serious now.
End disappointment. Start here:
www.DoubleYourDating.com
David D.
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