Mailbag: Make Women Approach You - David D. Answers His Email
*** Question From A Newsletter Reader***
Dear Dave,
First off, props to you on the book. The book is really about how to
take control of your life and get what you want from it. That's
awesome. I dated this really gorgeous chick that was in med school.
I did the whole cocky and funny routine. Works like magic.
Here's an example: "I love you, V." Me laughing ... I love me too. That's when I had to bail on her. She even bought me some pimp Versace gear.
I am stuck in a difficult situation. Due to the way I look, dress, and talk, girls assume that I am a player. I am very, very inexperienced however.
I have had a few times where I am about to seal the deal, and some girl will ask me, "How many girls have you been with ?" or "You are a player aren't you ?" I have never sealed the deal and if I tell them this they don't believe me and some will just get mad and leave.
I am not sure what I should say in this situation. I think some of your book is based on being able to kiss properly such as the kiss test or the c+f comment, "I don't even know if you kiss well. "
I do
not even know how to kiss properly. I can be cocky and funny and can
attract girls but then I don't know how to be cocky and funny and
bring up that I have never done anything. Please help me resolve
this because armed with my determination and my improving skills.
V-Man
David D Replies:
You're too much. She even bought you "some pimp Versace gear"?
Nice!
OK, you say that you've read my book, but you must have missed page
62. I explain exactly how to deal with this kind of situation
(questions you don't want to answer).
Here, let me get creative for you...
She asks: "Are you a player?"
You answer: "Are you trying to hide the fact that YOU are?"
One key in situations like this is to NEVER give a woman a direct answer. Use your Cocky & Funny skills to come up with 5 good answers, and use them.
Maybe say: "Yes, I play sports... what do you like?"
As you can see, I like to turn questions and accusations around and guess that they're trying to hide the fact that what they're asking about is something wrong with THEM. Just don't answer directly... and most women will give up.
If you get defensive and say "Oh, no no no... I'm not a Player at all..." most women won't believe you anyway - even if you're NOT a player.
***Question***
Hey Dave, well, like everyone else that's written I must say your book helped, even before when I read your letters every week they helped.
I've had a lot of success. Well I would of never expected myself to email you, cause there was really no point, cause your book helped a lot, but sadly... that day has come, where I need help.. oh yes.
Ok, Thanks to you I got jiggy with it, got girls, but I fell head over heals with this one girl.
Make a long story short. I went out with her, she'd always have fun, but still I wasn't always at my full potential cause she was the one that made me feel all tingly inside and I had just gotten your book.
But, there was this one occasion where I listened to my friend.. he said "tell her you like her".. but I knew I shouldn't cause you always say never tell a girl you like them. Well, you guessed it. I told her that.
And everything started going down hill after that. And to make matters worse, I finished everything off with her, and well said some things I regret.
After that happened and tried to forget about her, but she IMed me once saying she wanted to give me back something I had given her for her birthday, but she didn't want to give it to me personally.
Still had fun teasing her, but nothing. Then I went out with some girls got #'s to keep my mind off her. Went on vacation. but nothing. 2 months without her drove me crazy, so I emailed her a couple times 3 to be exact.
Made them as cocky and funny as they could be. But no cigar. Now I'm just doomed. Sure people have told me to move on, and probably you'll say that. But I've tried, but I feel like she's the one.
But she despises me, or
so I think. So Dave, is there something you can tell this
grasshopper to try get her back or try to do to I don't know.. it's
tough though.
Sincerely,
B.
David D:
Ouch. As you know, you've done a VERY VERY VERY bad thing...
YOU TURNED INTO A WUSSY!
Here's your homework:
Take out an entire blank notebook full of paper and write the
following by hand:
"I will not act like a WUSSY. I will not act like a WUSSY. I will
not act like a WUSSY."
When you've filled the notebook you may stop. Get it?
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
And of course you've gone and made the situation worse with each move you've made... probably to the point where there's not much you're going to be able to do about it.
Just get on with your life, and let this be a lesson to you and anyone reading this. Don't act like a WUSSY! Don't tell a woman you "like" her too early on. Don't call her too often. Don't act clingy and needy. STOP THAT!
When you act like a Wuss, women lose their ATTRACTION for you... and they can't even explain why it's happening. So stop that!
***Success Story***
Dave,
I have to say first and foremost that you are a genius. While I have
had some very good looking girlfriends, it never dawned on me the
reason that we were never together very long was because I acted
like a wuss, and got way too clingy. I am not a great looking guy,
but most girls (even really good looking ones), have described me as
being "cute" (consequently, I have realized that a guy's looks have
very, very little to do with being successful with women--maybe like
5%).
I have been putting your tactics to work lately and I have to admit they work like a charm, as I have gotten more email addresses and phone numbers than I know what to do with.
I am a House DJ in a nightclub and this affords me the perfect opportunity to talk to good looking girls since I am approached by or talked to at least 3 or 4 times a night by such girls, either asking me questions about the music or if I have a certain song.
While I don't have a lot of time to talk to them (usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes), I have been able to get their email and phone numbers very quickly using your techniques (even when their boyfriends are with them at the club...hahahaha... more on that later).
Basically, I start busting on them about something or other and get them laughing (usually because they don't know the name of the song and start trying to imitate it or sing the words in it...), and then I come out with "So, are you single?". Most of the time they tell me "no, I have a boyfriend".
Now this is an important point for a lot of your readers. Everyone, listen up!
Just because a woman says she has a boyfriend doesn't mean it's true.
I have found on numerous occasions that women I have gotten emails and phone numbers from have been single, after they have told me they have a boyfriend.
It almost seems like they are using it as a test to see what you are going to do. I really don't get it, but I stopped trying to figure it out, just follow your advice and don't let it worry me.
Most of the time when they say they have boyfriends they offer no resistance when I ask for their email and phone number. (Forgive me Dave, I haven't followed your advice to the "T".
I admit I haven't attempted the "it was nice meeting you, I need to get back to work." and then as she is leaving say "Hey! do you have an email?" The method I use has been working pretty good for me, but I will try doing this when I meet women outside the club, especially the ones at the gym I go to-- which I haven't really approached yet)
One case that stands out in particular happened last weekend when this extremely hot brunette with a body to die for (probably 9.75/10) came up and we started talking. (the guy running the lights almost started drooling)
She told me right off the bat she had a boyfriend. I asked if she was tired of him yet, and she giggled and said "no, we've been going out for about 3 years, we've had our ups and downs, but things are going alright now.", smiled and then said to me "you are so sweet though" and put her head on my shoulder.
She then immediately asked me "Why, are you single?" I laughed and said "Maybe. Why, do you know someone who might be interested in me?" She smiled again, and I knew I had her at this point.
I then said "Don't you think it's going to be hard to think of your boyfriend when it's so obvious you are attracted to me?"
She smiled again and kind of cocked her head sideways, but didn't say anything, so I followed up with "Wow, three years is a long time...when's the wedding date?" She said "Oh, he isn't really the kind of guy I'm looking to marry...", and I said "then stop wasting your time with him and give me your email address."
She gave me a "deer in the headlights" look, like she was in shock at what I said, but then immediately said "OK", took the pen and proceeded to write it down. While she was doing this I said "and go ahead and write down you phone number too." She said "OK" again and wrote it down.
Then she handed it to me and said, almost reluctantly "I have a boyfriend you know...". I then pulled a line that one of your other readers used in one of the newsletters (these newsletters definitely come in handy!
Sometimes I almost fall out my chair laughing at what some of the other people write in with...hahaha), saying "Look, I understand that must be a major accomplishment for someone that looks like you. I can't imagine any guy that would want to be seen in public with you.
He probably got tired of you begging..." She acted hurt, slapped me in the arm and said "you are so mean!" My song was running out at this point, so I told her I needed to get back to work, and she kissed me on the cheek, rubbed her hand from my shoulder down my chest and said "you better call me..." and left.
In the past I would have just talked to her for a minute, found out she had a boyfriend and then stopped talking to her, but after reading your material I just keep going, and I am realizing that most women will still give out their information to a total stranger even when they have boyfriends.
I was shocked to find this out! I asked one of my woman friends about this and she laughed and told me that most women aren't entirely happy with their relationships. I asked her why do they keep going out with that person if they really aren't happy and she said "because nothing better has come along..." Amazing!
Thanks again! Keep up the good work!
M.E.
David D:
Oh, well THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG NOW!
Yes, women will say ALL KINDS OF THINGS when you first meet them... especially attractive women.
But as you've seen, these things often aren't true, or are just smoke screens to protect them from having to deal with a bunch of loser guys who want to waste their time. Your email is great. It should be read 10 times by any guy who is learning about this stuff, and memorized.
By the way, GREAT CHOICE OF OCCUPATIONS.
One of the very best things you can do for your success with women is to PUT YOURSELF IN A POSITION THAT CAUSES THEM TO APPROACH YOU.
Be a dance teacher, a musician, a pottery or yoga teacher, a DJ, a bartender, or a women's shoe salesman. This is an amazing way to really improve your skills with women and skyrocket your success.
Put what you're learning to use and continue your social education with the 'Double Your Dating' ebook.
When you encounter "resistance" or "problems" or "tests" from women, you will no longer need to get nervous or upset, because you'll know what TO DO about it... and when you actually DO the right thing you'll see that problem disappear.
The point that I'm trying to make is that this education will not only teach you techniques for meeting women, it will also give you a new POWER that you never had before.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating lifestyle.
First: click here and join my free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer the most interesting and original of the advice questions I get daily from guys that want to date more successfully.
Second: Download my ebook "Double Your Dating". You'll find inside
the ebook more of the successful techniques, tried and true, that
help any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes with THREE great
bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else.
Get serious now. End disappointment. Start
here.
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