*** Question from an ebook reader ***

Dave, thanks for all the advice.
Between your e-book (the best advice I've read about women) and your free newsletter I have pulled myself out of a dating dry spell that is measured in years.
The "bratty little sister" comment you made really put me in the right frame of mind. "How would I treat this girl if she was my best friend's hot little sister?" perfect. I'm not as good as I want to be at this yet but it will happen.

I have been trying to get rid of as many negatives about my appearance as I can (lost weight, updated wardrobe, etc.) I'm 35 and have some gray hair. Do you think I should get rid of it? Most of the women I come into contact with are in their early twenties and I wonder if I am sometimes being put into the "No, too old" category before I even open my mouth. I think once you are in the "No" category it's hard to get out no matter how good your game is.
Thanks again,
J.D.
Minnesota

David D's Reply >>>

Wow, ended a dry spell that is measured in years?

Whew! Well congratulations on it's end.

As for your observation that "once you're in the 'No' category it's hard to get on her high interest side no matter how good your game is", I think this is pretty accurate thinking. Remember where I wrote that you need to know when to exit? You've got just a few seconds to get her interest, your age and hair color is not generally an issue if your mouth is working towards raising her instant attraction in you!

And to answer your question about gray hair:
I've found that there is a group of women who either don't care very much about how old a man is, and a group who actually like older men.

So you're going to have to decide what you want, and then maybe test her. See how it works for you. See how women respond to you both ways.

*** Question ***

Hi Dave,
I have used your techniques from the CDs, and I have been using NLP stuff too. It really does work. But do you have any special tips for an age 21 college student who also happens to be a paraplegic, an in a wheelchair user? The things I've learned from you do produce positive results, however I ask of your wisdom for some advice for someone in my unique situation.

David D's Reply >>>

Well, I'm really going to go out on a limb here when I answer your question, because I don't have any experience or frame of reference for your situation.

But here's what I would do if I were you:
I'd sit down for a couple of hours and work out a bunch of Cocky and Funny remarks, comebacks, and other basic funny conversation chunks to use when talking to women, all based around your wheelchair, lack of height, awkward posture, etc.

In marketing, one of the techniques that's taught is to admit negatives about a product in a charming way.

I've found in life that when I get over my own personal insecurities about myself and I accept that some people won't like certain things about me, it frees me up to focus on those that I'm interested in dealing with.

The next thing I'd do is get online and start chatting with women in the chat rooms of some dating services that are 'wheelchair friendly', and try out your new material. See what kind of responses you get and fine tune your techniques from there.

Remember, in general women are more interested in your personality and how you make them feel than what you look like.

*** Question ***

Hey David,
Many thanks to you for your knowledge and insight on meeting women. I have personally seen a 1000% increase in my ability to attract women. No doubt your stuff works!
Now I realize the concept is to double your dating, and not double your relationships, but my problem is one I'm sure you get a lot.

Here's the situation:

I met this girl while out at a local club. I'd say she was an 8.5 - 9 on my scale. But more importantly, had a personality to match her looks. Nice!
I immediately sprang into action and went over with a simple "Hi". And we chatted for a few minutes. I kept up the cocky/funny and played the character. Apparently my manner and approach was dead on, because she was very responsive and in fact commented on the way I presented myself.
So anyway, we chatted, I got her number and told her I'd call. Said good-bye, and left. I actually called the next night (Sunday) but we were both too hung over to do anything. Well, on Monday she called me. And has since called me at least twice for each time I have called her. We've been out several times for drinks as well. Here's my problem. I'm very interested in pursuing something more than casual dating.
How do I go about balancing the art of cocky/funny and maintaining her interest, but also come across as relationship material without wussing out?
I haven't bought her anything in the way of dinner or gifts, with the exception of a beer or two. But always after she's bought a round for me first. She's very independent, and I like that about her.
I don't want some needy woman clinging to me all the time, but I would like to keep her interest
high and continue through the various bridges you mention in your book.

It may seem soon, but this one turns my stomach upside down and I feel the temptation to "Wuss out". But I refuse to turn into my old self. I guess I want to know some tips you could offer when you've doubled your dating and you find one you want to keep around for awhile. Is it ever ok to express your feelings while still keeping up the attraction? Or would you just continue doing what works, and see where that leads? Your time and insight is greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
Sincerely,
J. Jones

David D's Reply >>>

Well, a 1000% increase in success attracting women isn't that bad. Try harder. But your email brings up a topic and scenario that is very relevant to a lot of guys.

And you're right, I don't teach guys how to "Double Your Relationships". But that doesn't mean that I don't think that I have something against getting into longer term relationships. In fact, I think a great relationship with a really wonderful woman can be an amazingly wonderful thing. As men age, settling down becomes your life's work.

The problem is that most guys don't have the confidence and choice that comes from understanding how to attract women anytime, anywhere, and they wind up settling for whatever woman happens to like them. And they also tend to act like total Wuss Bags when they are in
relationships because they have fear around the idea of her leaving. She's in control and he's a lap-dog.

And this brings me to your question about what a guy should do if he meets a woman that he would like to work toward a longer term relationship with.

The first thing you should do is what you're doing, lean back and give her space.

Most guys want to try and "corner the market" as quickly as they can when they meet a woman that they like, and try to convince the woman to be exclusive immediately.

Experience tells me that this is a bad idea for a few reasons:

1. You don't know her very well yet.
I make it a personal rule to not get into a "boyfriend/ girlfriend" relationship with a woman for at least 3-6 months. I want to get to know a woman before I'm interested in being exclusive. Giving her time to simply date me is the time when you start to understand each other. It's the time when you're learning to increase attraction in her without resorting to the "good boy, wussy style" routine that so many guys fall into.

I once met a really hot girl for a cup of tea, 9.5 at least, and she told me that she likes to date a guy for a couple of weeks, then form a monogamous, long-term, exclusive, boyfriend and girlfriend relationship with him, then sleep together.

This was all at the first meeting I had with her over a cup of tea. Not even our first official date!

I told her that she was crazy, and that I'd never get into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with some woman that I'd only known for a couple of weeks, and then I left. I had images of coming home in a few weeks and finding her going through my closets and saying "Who's is this?"

Get to know a woman before you make your decision! Really know her!

2. If a woman is the type that will get into a serious relationship with you quickly, then there's probably a good chance that she has some real issues she needs you to help her deal with.

The last thing you need is a clingy woman that is out looking around for a man to complete her and give her life meaning within a couple of weeks of seeing her.

So you're doing the right thing. Nice.

If you want to pursue a "relationship" relationship, then you might want to actually start doing a sweet, romantic thing or two every once in awhile. A card, a flower, a note stuffed into a pocket of hers, etc. is all it takes to communicate your message. But use them wisely, and don't start acting like a needy wussy! Think of rationing the attention making things that you give her of yourself.

Also, when you start saying things like "I was thinking about you", "I really like spending time with you", and other lovey talk it says the same thing. Your words are interpreted differently than your intent sometimes.

Again, use your romantic words sparingly. Especially with independent women!

And ultimately, if you want to actually have a real, honest-to-goodness relationship, then tell her how you feel about her. If you think she's worth having a relationship with, then you're going to need to take the risk at some point of telling her, 3 to 6 months down the road.

I hope she works out for you!

*** Question ***

Dear Dave,
As I am writing this letter, I am punching myself in the forehead.
Last night I called a woman whose profile I got from an online personal ad (she gave me her phone number in her 2nd e-mail to me). During the phone call, the only words that came out of my mouth were those of demeaning wussiness, like: where do you live, what do you do for a living, blah blah blah blah.

What topics should I talk about when acting cocky and funny without sounding like a job interviewer?
Keep up the good work.
M., NJ

David D's Reply >>>

It sounds to me like your problem is beyond the scope of a simple answer. You need a major mental reworking of your return to wussiness.

And if you ever hope to have an attractive woman respond positively to you and feel attraction for you, then you'd better get this handled.

Now, I personally think that it's fine to ask a woman whatever you want, just don't answer any of her questions directly. It can be quite enjoyable to ask women about themselves, then make fun of the answers. As cocky and funny goes, your conversations with her are the material you need to react to, in the c/f way, to make her further explain herself. You've got to be funny and keep her talking, not leaving open pauses in the conversation or letting her become the questioner. The more she talks, and the more you listen, the better a conversationalist she'll think you are.

But it sounds to me like you've got a problem with your mindset, which is deeper. Do yourself a favor, go and join my Meeting Women Online website. You'll get a preview of my new great material too, and have the answers you need for making online dating work for you.
www.doubleyourdating.com/meetingwomenonline/

*** Question ***

David,
I am 51 and would like to know if this Double Your Dating would be applicable to attract women in their 40's?
Best,
ZZ

David D's Reply >>>

Yes.

*** Question ***

Dear Dave,
In one of your previous newsletters, you told us:
"You really need to remember to give her the gift of missing you".

I'm in college, and find that I am meeting a lot of good looking and fun ladies.
I met a girl, she's a perfect 10. Anytime I talk to her or see her, I am as cocky/funny as I can be, and it seems to work.
The problem I have is that she lives in my dorm. How can I give her that gift? Anything you've got is appreciated.
LR

David D's Reply >>>

It doesn't even matter if you're married and living in the same house. You can still give someone the gift of missing you by staying busy, and not being annoying. It's something you can do anytime, with anyone.
The next time you talk to her, don't make plans to see her, and get off the phone quickly.
The next time you walk by her in the dorm, just say "Hi" and tell her to give you a call tomorrow.
You direct her to make the move of contact. You limit the time of conversations to drive her levels of attraction higher and higher.

Be busy. Have a life. Busy equals popular which is one of the highest attraction motivators in the history of man!

But you might want to at least get a date with this girl before you move onto advanced things like "giving her the gift of missing you".

*** Question ***

Hey David,
You teach some really good stuff.
It's not just the run-of-the-mill "how to get chicks" splash, but a more in-depth realistic approach to the problem (which isn't much of a problem if you use techniques like yours).
Anyway, I was just working on my C&F by giving girls some flack when I can. It seems to work well.
However, I was wondering what you'd say in this situation:
I was talking to a girl and she asked me to do a favor for her. Using your technique of not seeming wussy and just saying "uh, OK". I said, "What do I get in return?" Instead of the responses you talked about like, "Whatever you want." and "A hug/kiss/etc", which would be easy for me to say "Not good enough" and dog on her a bit, she said "What do you want?" I turned around with what I thought was a pretty good C&F remark of "What? You're that easy?! Well, that's no fun!"

The thing is, I wanted to be able to know what she thought was okay to give in return, but she left it up to me, so what do you say to "What do you want?" to test the waters and/or get the results you want?
Thanks in advance, David. I'm sure you'll be answering this question for many readers besides just me if you post it in your articles.
CR

David D's Reply >>>

Next time a woman answers the question "What do I get in return" with the answer "Whatever you want", I want you to answer in the following manner:

"Great, I want a two hour full body massage, a home cooked dinner, and to be tucked in and kissed on the forehead just like mom used to do and not necessarily in that order."

Say that.
Seriously, I'm being serious. You need to re-read my 'Double Your Dating' ebook. Now!
www.doubleyourdating.com

*** Question ***

Hi Dave,
I asked a girl at school for her number on Wednesday. Friday I invited her to come with me for coffee. I didn't pay, she did, and it was spur of the moment thing. That's where everything went downhill.
Coffee was so great I dragged it out for 2 and a half hours. Then when I got home I worried that I screwed up so I called her and asked if she liked me, she told me did a little, but we're just friends now, and I told her I see her as a nice friend ( I hoped it'd help to get her to like me more). Then later on I called again when I was bored because my friends canceled on me, I had nothing to do and when I called she wasn't home but I left her a message.
Saturday I left her a message saying to call me back. Today is Sunday, she didn't call back, so I called her again, and I said yes, I might be interested in going out, but she said that since she's just out of a 9 month relationship, she needs time to get everything together, she doesn't want to date anyone yet.
I told her we'd meet Tuesday for a movie and she said that's great. Then I called her back and asked her why she asked if I liked her if she doesn't like me. Then called her back again and made sure plans for Tuesday were solid.

Essentially, I got her number and the date by being cocky funny, and once I thought we were cool I wussed out.
Now I know I should look for more girls but the problem is spring break just started, I'm low on cash to go clubbing much if at all, and besides that I'm 18 so it's a pain. Essentially, she's my only chance for fun. And I wussed it up! I will try to meet other girls, but considering the circumstances it will be hard. For this girl, what'd be a good recovery?
Thanks,
CA

David D's Reply >>>

You've provided a great diary of how not to behave with a woman that you are attracted to.

Dude, you get the 'Gold Star' for demonstrating the ability to convince a woman that you are a wussy in the least time possible. Please stand up so I can pin it to your forehead for all to see!

You might want to consider giving up on women altogether after this. Your behavior is 'bottom of the barrel' embarrassing for guys everywhere.

How hard is it to just stop being a wussy? Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Don't:
- drag coffee out for 2 hours!
- call afterwards and ask if she likes you!
- call again later because you're bored!
- And don't call the other forty seven times, either!
Let's reverse positions here and you be her. You just meet, have a coffee, maybe a few morsels to snack on. Interesting conversation all around that lasts the better part of the afternoon. Once you get home she calls you. She asks if you like her. (Leading to an instant relationship by the way!) You say you've just met but she's cool as a friend. She says again that she really likes you. This is followed with uncomfortable small-talk and you finally get her off the phone. Out you go with some friends and when you come home later on there's a phone message waiting for you from her. She calls again the next morning and leaves another message. By not answering her message right away, by waiting a day or two, you're creating attraction by her missing you (which I teach in my ebook very effectively by the way!) She calls again that night (this is her third call since you last spoke) and you set up a movie (as friends) date for a couple of days away. The you say whatever it takes to get her off the phone. And she calls back in a little while to confirm the date you just made. And she calls a third time to make sure you like her.
Are warning bells and red lights flashing around here or is it just me? Has she defined clingy to the most extreme level? Are you actually interested in her anymore? Do you think that you'll break the Tuesday movie date on Monday?
You will:
- not call her, she'll always have to call you
- not have anything interesting to talk about because you'll want her off the phone fast
- be incredibly happy that you didn't give her your email because you don't want a flood of romantic ecards in your inbox
- use some lame excuse to break the movie date and hope she gets the hint
So my question to you CA is "Would you date you?"
You don't have to answer out loud, I know the answer.

I'd say that at this point, you should go down to your local blood bank and sell your blood if you have to to get the few dollars you'll need to invest in my eBook and Advanced Series materials. It would be worth it for you.
I'll keep your gold star safe while you're busy reading, just in case you backslide into wussiness.

*** Final Comment***

The response you want to get from women is when any woman can sense that you're actually a man, and not a wuss that's trying to pretend to be a man.

"Would you date you?"

I've covered some tough ground in this article:
- getting out of the 'No' category
- using the basics of your personality and uniqueness as your cocky and funny starting points of conversation
- moving from dating to serious relationships without reverting to becoming a wussy
- having conversations with women and using what they say as the basis for your cocky and funny replies
- wrapping up the gift of her missing you
- being bold enough to use cocky and funny replies to her asking for favors
- analyzing your own behavior and finding out "Would you date YOU?"

The next move is yours:
How do you want women to see you? How do you want women to be attracted to you? How do you want to improve your dating and your life?